I have no shame.
I’m not ashamed of my sero-discordant marriage of 23yrs., my BDSM play, or the naked pictures of me on my Tumblr page.
Those were the first lines of the speech I gave when I became International Mister Leather 2017.I resist modesty that is thinly disguised morality and body shame.
I resist HIV/AIDS phobia, stigma and ignorance.
I resist heteronormativity and its prohibitions on what is healthy personal and sexual expression.It’s no secret that I love pups. Biopups, boypups, human pups. But this pup, this pup here, well, I love this leather pup too. This pup is the mascot for Team Friendly. Mr. Friendly was created by my friend, Dave Watt. He believes, we believe, that having conversations to reduce HIV stigma is crucial to the physical, sexual, and relational health of our community.
I love sex. I love leathersex, naked sex, and pretty much all forms of sexual play. I love sex with my husband and I love sex with others. We are a magnetic couple. One positive, one negative. I know my status. I get checked regularly as does he. We share the same doctor. The doctor who, in fact, suggested I go on PrEP a few years ago. It is not, for me, a “party drug”. I will not be slut-shamed. This is about exercising choice, freedom and full expression based on science and not someone else’s morality.
Last week, six members of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS angrily resigned, saying Trump doesn’t care about HIV. “We will be more effective from the outside, advocating for change and protesting policies that will hurt the health of the communities we serve and the country as a whole if this administration continues down the current path,” they asserted.
I believe, as does Team Mr. Friendly SoCal, that having friendly conversations is part of this advocacy and protest. I had two great loves prior to my husband. They were amazing men who changed my life forever. They are gone. They both died of AIDS as did most of my generation. I simply cannot bear to have another administration injure and kill more of our people through ignorance and callous purposeful silence and inaction like that of Ronald Regan. This is too important to ignore. We must take upon ourselves what our administration refuses. Silence=Death. Talk to each other about our bodies, sex, health, STI, PrEP. I urge you, do not let shame and fear silence you. Never hide your body, your sex, your kink.
Have no shame. Be free. Be responsible. Believe science. Stay alive. Please.
– Ralph Bruneau – Mr. IML 2017
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